Awaken Me

In a stark contrast to the brightness of the dawn, the cloudy thoughts are bleak and cheerless.  Listless.  The long list of duties is almost paralyzing.  Where should the day even start?  How is it possible to prioritize?  An underweight, failure to thrive baby who requires hours and hours to feed.  And still loses weight.  A busy preschooler who needs direction and training and attention.  Without constant supervision, the messes and chaos quickly take over the house.  A sulky teenager, whose disrespectful words are like arrows piercing the heart, who needs patience and lovingkindness.  And help with a term paper.  An empty refrigerator that needs to be filled.  Loads and loads of dirty clothes that need to be laundered.  E-mails and phone calls that need responses.  Bills that need to be paid.  The responsibilities are burdensome, overwhelming and disheartening.  How can one person possibly accomplish all of this?

The temptation is to retreat, to stay in bed and hope, somehow, that the children will raise and educate themselves.  That the house will clean itself and the meals will prepare themselves.  Of course that is completely unrealistic.  There really is no other option except to inhale deeply, summon whatever meager reserve of strength can be found, and face the day. 

But surely there is more to life than just surviving through the endless to-do lists.  Than simply responding to the most pressing, most urgent demands. Than merely going through the motions with only a sense of duty and obligation.  Surely that old refrain, the one in minor key with the haunting words that get stuck, surely it can be replaced with a hymn of praise.

Lord, please awaken these lips.  Fill them with a new song.

I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry.  He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.  He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. – Psalm 40:1-3

The circumstances may not change any time soon.  In fact, they probably won’t.  A special-needs child will continue to require a tremendous amount of time and loving care. The other children need many more years to grow and learn and transition to independence.  There is no fairy godmother who is going to come and wave her magic wand over the mess and make it go away.  Waiting for it to be different, hoping it will change, won’t make it so.  It will only lead to discontentment and forfeited joy.

All of those burdens - the consequences of yesterday’s decisions that linger today, the tedious unfinished tasks at hand, and the expectations that will remain unfulfilled despite endless effort and prayers – those things cannot be allowed to obstruct the morning’s view.  On the contrary, the vision of those encumbrances need to be dimmed.  Will they define the daylight hours?  No!  They must fade in comparison to the many, many undeserved blessings.

Lord, please awaken these eyes.  Fill them with gratitude.

Many, O Lord, my God are the wonders You have done.  The things You planned for us no one can recount to You; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare. – Psalm 40:5

The impossibly long lists still persist and demand attention.  The weighty responsibilities haven’t budged from their perch on the shoulders.  What’s the point of even trying if the endeavors are in vain?  If success is unattainable?  But wait. Does the Lord demand success?  Will His love diminish one ounce if there are no check marks at the end of the day?  Absolutely not!  As Mother Theresa says, “God does not require that we be successful, only that we be faithful.”  That is what He is asking for today:  Faithfulness.  Obedience.

Lord, please awaken this heart.  Fill it with Your law.

Sacrifice and offering You did not desire, but my ears You have pierced; burnt offerings and sin offerings You did not require. Then I said, "Here I am, I have come-- it is written about me in the scroll. I desire to do Your will, O my God; Your law is within my heart." – Psalm 40:6-8

And His law, the one written on the heart, is not burdensome.  It is not impossible.  His law is the law of grace and mercy and love.  His love is so vast, so immeasurable that it can never be contained.  It will never lessen because of today’s failures or frustrations.  There is nothing – no difficult task, no futile efforts, no consuming discouragement or troubled relationship – nothing that is strong enough or deep enough to separate from His boundless love.  May that truth, that wonderful unchanging truth, prevail today.  May it be enough to sustain and strengthen and energize.

Lord, please awaken this mind.  Fill it with Your love and Your truth.

I do not conceal Your love and Your truth from the great assembly . . . Do not withhold Your mercy from me, O Lord; may Your love and Your truth always protect me. – Psalm 40:10-11

As the day begins and the other family members begin to stir, may His deep, deep love not only be sufficient, but may it fill to the brim and then overflow, pouring out onto those in this very home who so desperately need it.  May they see, not stress and anxiety and shoulders slumped with defeat, but may they see joy.  The joy and peace and confidence that comes from being loved.  From being free from the burden of performing and doing everything well and being good enough.  May they understand what it means to rejoice.

Lord, please awaken this soul.  Fill it with joy.

But may all who seek You rejoice and be glad in You; may those who love Your salvation always say, "The Lord be exalted!" – Psalm 40:16

The hours ahead are many.  Before the sun sets this evening, the cries of frustrations may indeed echo the psalmist: “troubles without number surround me; my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see. They are more than the hairs of my head, and my heart fails within me.” (Psalm 40:12)  I will most likely need to be reminded again and again of Your truths and the promises of Your grace.  And yet, again and again, as often as necessary, I will put my trust in You and Your unfailing love.  In those overwhelming moments when I can’t possibly take one more step, may You come quickly to my rescue.

Be pleased, O Lord, to save me; O Lord, come quickly to help me . . . Yet I am poor and needy; may the Lord think of me. You are my help and my deliverer; O my God, do not delay. – Psalm 40:13,17

O, Lord, You have provided everything needed for this day.  You are the Provider and Sustainer and Rescuer.  The source of joy and strength.  May the brightness of the morning sun shine on this face and may the dawn reach into this heart.  May a new song be ever on my lips in the hours ahead.

Lord, please awaken me this day.