Healing the Wounded

It takes courage just to get out of bed.  To leave the house, start the car, and drive, knowing there will be people there.  To bravely walk into church or into the Small Group meeting or into that room where other believers are studying the Bible or laughing over a cup of coffee.  The struggle is huge.  Oh, how everything in life seems to be crumbling into nothing, and it’s impossible to make sense of any of it.

But speak up?  Let someone else know what’s really happening behind the closed doors at home?  Why?  How?  The other people sit there, all perfect and happy, apparently with no struggles of their own.  How could any of them possibly understand?

In a moment of weakness, at the risk of discovery and humiliation, there is the slightest transparency.  The tiniest hint of honesty.  A tear that sneaks out without warning.  A sliver of truth that there is a battle that rages in the heart, a battle where faith is being trampled and fear is overwhelmingly victorious.  And not just fear.  Guilt.  Discouragement.  Hopelessness.  Pain.

And what is the response?  How do God’s people react when the smile is peeled back and the wounds are exposed? 

Perhaps a promise to pray.  Or an offer of a book that might be useful.  A Bible verse that might provide some encouragement.  A recommendation for a counselor or a support group or a pastor.  Someone else more qualified, with more training, with more Bible knowledge, who might be able to give advice. 

Those responses?  Those are the good ones.  Those come from the people who think they are being helpful.  The conversation ends, the wounded one retreats, still hurting, still broken, still alone.

Oh, but there are much worse reactions.  No words of encouragement or helpful suggestions.  There is only judgement.  Condemnation.  Accusations.  Insinuations that the current situation is a result of foolish choices.  Too bad.  The problems are much too big.  Too messy.  Too disruptive to the perfect lives that have been so skillfully constructed.  This?  When this conversation ends, the wounded one retreats, angry and even more confused, vowing never again to be vulnerable.  Never again to allow the wounds to be exposed.

So what is the right reaction?  When the struggle is evident and the pain is agonizing and the planned life unravels into broken threads and faith is nearly depleted.  How should God’s people respond?  How can they care for the one who is hurting?

The answer?  It depends . . .

“We urge you, brethren . . .

admonish the unruly,

encourage the fainthearted,

help the weak,

be patient with everyone.”

- 1 Thessalonians 5:14 -

Admonish the unruly.  Some situations may need a listening ear.  A shoulder to cry on.  An understanding, sympathetic sounding board.  But not always.  Sometimes, admonishment may indeed be the appropriate response.  When there is blatant sin, or a lifestyle of disobedience, or continued unrepentance, it needs to be addressed.  Warnings need to be issued.  Admonish.  Not from a place of condemnation or superiority or judgment.  Not from anger or even disappointment in another’s weaknesses and failures.  Admonish from a posture of humility.  From a heart of love.  From one who longs to see a brother or sister restored. (1)

Imagine a driver heading towards a bridge washed out from the most recent storm.  Is that the time for a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on?  Of course not!  It is time to post signs!  Sound the alarm!  Warn loudly and clearly and passionately – Stop!  Turn back before it’s too late!!  Please do not make the same mistake that countless others have made before you! 

Everyone falls. (2) Those who have struggled to stand again can show another how to stand again.  The ones who have been rescued can rescue another.  Or more accurately, can point another to the Rescuer Himself!  With every admonishment, with every warning, comes the hope of the gospel.  An opportunity to point to the One who can lift the fallen out of the pit, out from the mire.  To the One who forgives and restores, setting stumbling feet on a firm path, steading and supporting every new step. (3)

No one is too lost for God to reach.  No transgression is too great that He cannot forgive.  No guilt is too shameful.  No departure from the path is too far.  Admonish.  Call.  Reach.  Warn.  Appeal, begging the unruly one to be reconciled to God. (4)  Be ready to embrace, welcoming back the one who was lost. (5)

Encourage the fainthearted.  Heartache, no matter how fervent the prayers, no matter how diligent the striving, can happen to the least suspecting.  Heartbreak can cause even the strongest warriors to weep, unable to stand, incapable of moving forward.  The untimely death of a loved one.  An unfaithful spouse.  A wayward teen.  Irreparable damage to a friendship.  An unexpected diagnosis.  The loss of a career.  A random act of violence.  A gross abuse of justice.  A catastrophic event.  There are countless circumstances that shake foundations and rock worlds. Experiences that drown faith in a sea of hurt, betrayal, loss, disillusionment, confusion, and fear.

The broken-hearted need more than platitudes.  More, even than a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on.  And certainly more than condemnation and judgment.  Would a doctor listen to the list of symptoms and then do nothing?  Would he refuse to heal an injury that was caused by carelessness or foolishness?  Regardless of its source, wounds need to be healed.  Faint hearts need to be encouraged.  

It does not necessarily mean holding a counseling degree or having a background in Biblical studies.  In fact, it may not mean giving advice at all.  No enlightened, spiritually-sounding answer may be needed.  Job’s friends tried that approach, and it accomplished nothing.  And anyway, as so often happens, there may not be any answers.  Not one thing anyone can do to fix a difficult situation.  To explain a devastating loss.

What does it mean to encourage the fainthearted?  First and foremost, it means praying.  Not a promise to pray, but an offer to pray.  Right here, in this moment.  Out loud. (6)  Laying on of hands and lifting the wounded up in prayer before a loving Father.  Before the One who never for one moment stops loving, sustaining, and providing for His children.

Encourage means just that . . . to inspire with courage.  To light a spark.  To so kindle the fainthearted that they become lionhearted!  Where does this courage come from?  When giving up seems to be the only available option, how can this courage inspire another to move forward?  To take one more step?  To press on? 

And this is the victory that overcomes the world, even our faith (I John 5:4).  Where does victory come from?  From being strong enough or capable enough or determined enough?  By trying just a little bit harder?  No. The victory that overcomes the world is faith!  The fainthearted are encouraged by being reminded, again and again, as often as it takes, to believe in the faithfulness of God.  When the situation is not good, to believe that God is still good.  When emotions are spiraling out of control, to believe that God is still in control.  When the verdict is impossible, to believe that God makes all things possible. (7)  When everything in this life seems to be crumbling into nothing, to believe that God is still the solid Rock that does not change.

In the darkness when fear is paralyzing . . . Believe. (8)

When the task is too big, impossible even . . . Believe. (9)

When the wounds are too painful to bear . . . Believe. (10)

Light a spark.  Kindle the flame until it grows.  Inspire the fainthearted to be courageous with the reminder to keep believing.  To look upwards, with open hands, and keep believing that endurance will accomplish its perfect work. (11)  To keep believing that hope does not disappoint. (12)  Encourage the fainthearted to believe.

Help the weak.  Sometimes wounds are real.  Not symbolic or hypothetical or emotional, but actual, physical needs that can only be relieved by practical help.  By being present.  The single mother who needs food for her children this week.  The unemployed father who needs money to pay this month’s rent.  The visually impaired woman who needs a ride to church every week.  The widow whose house is in dire need of repairs.  The weary family who is caring for a child with special needs, or who have been entrusted with a foster child who has extreme behavioral issues, or who are taking responsibility for an aging parent – a family who desperately needs rest.

There is a time to pray.  There is a time to send a note of encouragement.  But honestly, those who are weak may need so much more than that.  Be the hands and arms and feet of Jesus at every opportunity.  Help, serve, give, support, act.  Be present. Just do.

The weak need help.  They need others to share the massive burdens that were never meant to be carried alone. (13)  How?  What does it mean to share a burden?  It means being the one who gets involved.  The one who is inconvenienced.  It means touching.  Lifting.  Shouldering part of the weight.  Most likely it means getting dirty and sweaty and exhausted.  Getting covered in someone else’s blood and mess.  Maybe getting hurt.  Maybe, ultimately, laying down one’s life for another. (14)  Is someone brave enough to admit a weakness?  Now is the time to act.  Do whatever it takes to help.

Be patient with everyone.  Whether the messy life is a result of personal sin or the result of living in a sinful world.  Whether it’s a new believer just learning what it means to follow Jesus, or a seasoned Jesus-follower who somehow lost the way.  Whether it’s a weakling who repeatedly stumbles, or the strong one who needs to be reminded of God’s love and faithfulness in the darkest stormiest night.  Whether it’s a fresh wound or one that continues to fester.  Be patient with everyone. 

Wounds do not heal overnight.  Broken bones are not easily fixed.  How much more so with wounded spirits and broken hearts!  They require time to mend.  Time to regenerate and become strong again.  They require patience. 

Patiently admonish, patiently encourage, patiently help.  Tenderly, and with humility and compassion.  Most likely it will not be a one-time conversation or a one-time prayer or a one-time meal.  It may require weeks, months, decades even, of encouragement and reminders of the Truth of the gospel.  The gospel that sets captives free, restores families, enables the blind to see and the lame to walk.  The gospel that breaks the chains of addictions. The gospel that chases away the darkness, offering instead light and hope and joy and peace. 

When the struggle is evident and the pain is agonizing and the planned life unravels into broken threads and faith is nearly depleted.  When the smile is peeled back and the hurt is exposed.  How should God’s people respond?  Be present.  Speak.  Pray.  Act.  Love.  Do.

Do the hard work of sharing the burden.  As often as it takes, for as long as it takes.

Do good.  Always. (15)

Do whatever is needed.  Whatever it takes.  Do whatever it takes to heal the wounded.

1.    Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. – Galatians 6:1

2.    For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. – Romans 3:23

3.    He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. – Psalm 40:2

4.    We are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us.  We implore you on behalf of Chris, be reconciled to God. – 2 Corinthians 5:20

5.    But while [the wayward son] was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. . . He said, “It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for [my son] was lost, and is found.” – Luke 15:20, 32

6.    And they have conquered [the accuser] by the blood of the lamb and by the word of their testimony. – Revelation 12:11

7.    Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” – Matthew 19:26 

Is anything too hard for the Lord? – Genesis 18:14

8.    [Jesus] said to them, “Why are you so afraid?  Have you still no faith?” – Mark 4:40

9.    And [Abraham] believed the Lord, and He counted it to him as righteousness. -  Genesis 15:6

10. I believed, even when I spoke, “I am greatly afflicted.” - Psalm 116:10

11. The testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. - James 1:3-4

12. Hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts. - Romans 5:5

13. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. - Galatians 6:2

14. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.  – John 15:13

15. Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it. – Proverbs 3:27