Before the eyes even open, it’s there. Lingering, menacing, its approaching darkness
threateningly close. It’s a storm cloud
that descends without warning, casting a dark gloominess across the day ahead. Hope’s radiance may be struggling to shine
through, but it is completely hidden in the shadows.
This ominous cloud may be Regret. It is heavy with the tremendous weight of
guilt, taunting its reminders of past decisions. Roads that seemed innocuous and safe in the
beginning, but with every step, every twist and turn, have long since led to a
place of unintended consequences. There
is no going back. That time can never be
redeemed, and Regret is ever present, mocking and ridiculing the foolishness of
yesterday.
Perhaps the foreboding cloud is Fear. Facing an unknown future, feeling thoroughly
unprepared and ill equipped. This
frightening cloud warns of impending storms, a deluge that threatens to
consume, causing horrendous damage and destruction. What if the imagination’s
worst nightmare indeed happens? What
about that possible scenario? How will
the heart be able to bear it? The anxiety
of such thoughts can be paralyzing.
Sometimes the cloud is simply Weariness. The difficult circumstances of yesterday
remain here today. The battles that were
fought so valiantly at the beginning have now become overwhelming and
futile. What’s the use of continuing the
fight when nothing ever seems to change?
Not the slightest sign of victory is in sight.
The thoughts, the thoughts, the thoughts. Like frightened rabbits, they bound across
the meadow of the mind, first darting one way before turning suddenly and dashing
in a completely different direction. They continue to scurry, frantically
racing and whirling. Never resting. Will peace, that elusive tranquility and
contentment so earnestly sought, ever be found?
